Breathe out...

This post may come across as somewhat personal, but I'm okay with that. Again, this blog is going to be about my life and my ways of finding beauty in every situation possible. Maybe it will be my way to de-stress, maybe someone else out there encounters similar situations, or maybe it will be someone's distraction from a busy life. Whatever reason it is, I hope this blog gives you some perspective. Don't get me wrong...I'm still going to talk about "makeup" and my career as a freelance artist...but there is much more to me then just my "career". Which is something that I have accepted as of recently.

April 27th, 2012- I suffered a miscarriage. I was 8 weeks pregnant. We were thrilled and so excited, (to say the least) that we were expecting our first child come December 2012. And so suddenly suffered the loss. If you truly know us, then you know how badly we want to be parents and how excited we are to start a family. A lot of people our age may have an opinion to that. Yes, we live in a one bedroom apartment, no, we don't make a ton of money, yes, we told too many people too soon....but all of that aside. It's our life, and who are you to judge? Again, if you know me and my husband, you know how in love we are and how rare our kind of love is. And that in itself, is pretty damn special to me and is all you need to make it work. I can honestly say that since the miscarriage, I haven't been myself. I've struggled with many emotions. Questions that I knew the answers to but didn't want to accept them for what they were. There had to be something wrong with me. Why did this happen to us? One more crazy intense situation that my husband and I have to be put through.

I have felt things these past couple months that I never knew I could feel...or knew I could feel but always felt like, "no, that will never be me". Major depression...but I'm good hiding it. Except from one person, my husband. I felt like I was inadequate, as a wife, as a person,in my job, and it was something that my husband was picking up on. And he was not happy about it. I was convinced that these feelings were just normal, and eventually would go away and were just part of the healing process. Well, unfortunately they got worse. Anxiety and depression in full swing. Your mind is a crazy thing. Your thoughts can do some serious damage. I felt as if I was loosing my mind.

Now, I can finally say that I feel like I'm heading in the right direction...with my thoughts and outlook on life and truthfully, I have my husband and family to thank for it. And for that I am beyond grateful. You can't dwell on the what if's or the could have beens'when things don't go as planned. You have to focus on the present and live for the moment. And that's what I'm doing...or trying to do as often as possible. I'm quite a work in progress but at least I know I'm trying my best. I can make it through anything, you can make it through anything. It is all about positive thinking. And it definitely doesn't hurt to have an amazing support system ;)

Happy To Be Back.... With so much to talk about :)

Ok, first things first....IM BACK! Truly, honestly...back in the blogging world. This summer has been CRAZY busy with weddings every weekend. Weddings of which I am so grateful for. I have met some of the coolest, most down to earth brides and I have been so fortunate to meet every single one of you and I couldn't appreciate your kind words and I was honored to make you even more beautiful on your wedding days : ) I've said it before, I'll say it again....you are the reason I love what I do.

Now, I am gearing up for all my Fall Brides. August is pretty quiet with weddings but filled with trials of **new** Brides that after months and months of talking about their special days via email...I will finally get to meet and make their wedding day beauty visions become a reality!

Here's some exciting news!! My good friend Kate is now apart of Meredith Lane Makeup Design! She joins MLMD as our Bridal Hair Stylist Specialist! She is AH-MAZING when it comes to up-dos!! She's definitely not your "cookie-cutter" typical hair stylist...she is beyond creative and so passionate and skilled, and will amaze you with her special bridal looks. So, make sure to check out the website for some of Kate's beautiful wedding day looks in "Our Beauties" section!

It's award season!!!! I am thrilled about this!!! I was voted Best of Weddings for the 2nd year in a row by The Knot : ) And this year I am actually featured in their Fall/Winter 2012 New Jersey Magazine and it is on stands now!!! So, all you Brides-to-be make sure to pick up your copy now! There are some great vendor articles featured in this issue...you are sure to find EVERYTHING you are looking for! Also, don't hesitate to ask me for referrals as I have worked with tons of vendors and would love to recommend my favorites to you!

I can not believe it is already August...the fall is going to be here before we know it and I can not wait to embrace it! The Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year! This year it is particularly special as this September is my one year Wedding Anniversary! Time sure does fly!! Hopefully by December my husband and I will FINALLY get to take our long awaited Honeymoon to St. Lucia as we planned last February...then last April...then this August and guess what? We had to push it back AGAIN!!! Beyond frustrating but that's a whole other blog in itself, ha! Which brings me to my next topic.........

This blog is not going to be just about "wedding makeup"....it will now be geared more towards all things beautiful in MY LIFE : ) I'm going to be talking about it all, which you could probably pick up the change in my blog name: Beauty in The Madness <3 I am still going to put an effort into making videos of tutorials, product reviews, discuss topics within the industry but this blog will focus now my life as a Freelance Makeup Artist and Wife and all things in between. So, I hope that you will pass my blog along to all your friends and tell them to share it with their friends and so on. I'm really excited to get this up and running on weekly basis and hope you will join me on this crazy blog-filled ride!


Thanks for following!
Love,
Meredith